Mastering Your Stress Threshold: A Guide to Self-Care and Wellness
Neglecting Yourself Can Lead to Anxiety, Panic, Overwhelm, and Burnout
Life can often feel like a constant barrage of challenges, responsibilities, and stressors. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind, and neglect one’s own well-being. In my professional life, I have a front row seat to the hardships that neglecting oneself can cause. My clients often first come to me when they are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, burnt out, and disconnected from the life that they want to live. They have not prioritized their own well-being for some time and the impact is clear. But, if I am really honest, I have been there myself on multiple occasions. The invaluable lessons I have learned from my own struggles and hardships have become a source of strength and wisdom. But the biggest gift from my struggles is that it helped me gain a deep understanding of what it takes to become incredibly resilient.
Understanding Your Stress Threshold
We all have what I like to call a "stress threshold," which is essentially the amount of stress we can handle in our daily lives without experiencing negative symptoms. It’s important to understand that this threshold varies from person to person. Just like no two fingerprints are the same, our capacities for stress are unique to each of us.
Conceptualizing Stress: The Leaky Roof and the Bucket
To make this concept more tangible, I invite you to think of stress as water leaking through a roof. Our stress threshold is like a bucket placed under that leak to catch the water. The bucket can hold a certain amount of water—or stress—before it overflows. If we periodically check the bucket and empty it when necessary, we can avoid it overflowing and making a big mess. However, if we neglect it, the bucket will eventually overflow, leading to negative consequences and a messy situation.
The Importance of Regular Self-Check-Ins
Just as we need to check our stress bucket regularly, we must also check in with ourselves daily. This means addressing our most basic needs: food, water, movement, warmth, and sleep. While these needs may sound obvious, many people overlook them, especially during busy or stressful periods. During stressful periods, I often hear that clients are too busy to take care of themselves and their well-being. But, during stressful times is exactly when we must check in and make ourselves a priority.
Meeting Basic Needs to Prevent Overload
Our bodies are incredible machines, but they need proper care to function optimally. Neglecting basic physiological needs sends a signal to our brain that we are in danger, activating what is known as “threat mode”. This can manifest as anxiety, panic attacks, feeling overwhelmed, or burning out. In some people, it can also lead to physical pain and discomfort.
Beyond Basic Needs: The Hierarchy of Well-Being
If you are not meeting your basic physiological needs, it becomes nearly impossible to satisfy higher-level needs, such as connection, love and belonging, self-esteem, and being present in your life. Essentially, neglecting the basics means missing out on the best things that life has to offer.
The Real-Life Implications of Neglect
When we allow our stress bucket to overflow, the results can be far-reaching. Anxiety can make it difficult to focus, impacting your work and relationships. Panic attacks can be debilitating, preventing you from enjoying daily activities. Feeling overwhelmed can lead to procrastination and a sense of helplessness, while burnout can result in complete physical and emotional exhaustion impacting every area of life. These issues can compound, creating a vicious cycle that is hard to break.
Personal Reflections and Lessons Learned
Before I understood that I was responsible for meeting my needs and taking care of myself, I had several periods in my life where I found myself feeling anxious and overwhelmed. When I look back now, I can clearly see that I had allowed myself to feel responsible for taking care of others first. I had a deep core belief that taking care of myself and showing up for myself was “selfish,” especially because I had young kids, a family I adored, and a job that meant taking care of others. Allow me to get real with you for a moment. I was wrong. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. If you take care of yourself by addressing your stress and your needs, then you will be able to show up in the best possible way for those who love you, in your career, and in your life. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
You only get one life and if you want to be present, engaged and feel connected, you need to attend to your stress and well-being. If you are consistently feeling anxious, overwhelmed, panicked, or burnout, these feelings will take center stage. You will be missing the small moments in life that make it beautiful and allow you to experience joy.
Practical Steps to Manage Your Stress Threshold
Managing your stress threshold isn’t about making drastic changes overnight. It’s about implementing small, consistent habits that help you maintain balance. Here are some practical steps you can take:
Daily Check-Ins: Take a few moments each day to assess how you’re feeling and what you need. Then, meet those needs!
Prioritize Basic Needs: Ensure you are eating nutritious meals, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, and engaging in regular physical activity. If sleep is at the bottom of your priority list, stress will continue to be an issue.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to additional responsibilities when your bucket is already full.
Ask this question: Do I routinely put others’ needs before my own?
Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness activities such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga to help manage stress.
Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or a professional counselor or coach when you need help.
Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury, but a necessity. Challenge yourself to prioritize your well-being and watch how it transforms your life!
Start small and start today. If you need someone to guide you on this journey, reach out for more support.