When Grief and Joy Coexist

Grief arrives unannounced, and when it knocks, you don’t get to decide whether to let it in—you simply feel it.

This past week, grief came crashing in when we lost Clover, my sweet, loyal companion. She wasn’t just a dog; she was woven into every part of my life—my morning routine, my work, my adventures, and my heart. Losing her after her tragic accident was devastating. There are some beings in life—human and animal—that feel like constants, and she had been mine.

The heaviness of grief sat with me all week. But something powerful happened in the midst of it: I realized that grief doesn’t arrive alone. It makes room for other emotions, and sometimes, those emotions stand side by side, even when they seem contradictory.

As a therapist, one of my favorite films is Inside Out because it beautifully illustrates the complexity of emotions.

The film takes us inside the mind of 11-year-old Riley as she navigates a major life transition—moving to a new city and grappling with loss, change, and uncertainty. Throughout the movie, her emotions—Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust—work together (or against each other) to shape how she experiences the world. At first, Joy tries to suppress Sadness, believing happiness should always take priority. But as the story unfolds, we see how Sadness plays an essential role in healing.  Toward the end of the movie, Riley learns for the first time (in a beautifully illustrated scene) that her emotions were not meant to be felt one at a time and that sometimes contradictory emotions can coexist in the same experience.

That scene resonated deeply with me this past week. Because even as our family sat in the weight of losing Clover, another door opened—a glimmer of joy peeking through our grief. A wonderful friend had puppies looking for new homes, and when I saw them, I knew: we were grieving, but we were also ready for joy.

We decided as a family to meet the puppies, and now, in just a few weeks, a new little one will join our home. He won’t replace Clover. That’s not how grief works. But what he will do is bring moments of comfort, light, and healing.

Because sadness doesn’t need to be "fixed." It doesn’t have to be pushed away. It can sit beside joy, coexisting as part of the human experience.

And that’s the beauty of healing—we don’t have to choose one emotion over the other. Instead, we embrace both, allowing them to shape us, teach us, and remind us that love—whether in memories or new beginnings—is always worth feeling.